Kindness and Patience make all the difference

>> Thursday, August 24, 2006

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians, chapter 14, verses 4-7
It has always struck me as odd and hypocritical that those who boast the loudest about their "relationship with the Lord" can be among those who are the least patient and kind. Such would be the case for my most recent former employer, Dr. "JD". Here was a man who boasts of how active he is in his church, how he teaches a junior high boy's Sunday School class, and talks to his patients about how "the Lord" created us, and yet he is one of the most impatient, unkind, boastful, arrogant, and rude human beings that I have encountered in a long time.

I have a new job now. I work as a front desk receptionist/secretary at a local long-established realtor's firm and the difference is like night and day! There isn't even any comparison. It's an office of mostly middle-aged women, all with various backgrounds and experience. Some are regular church-goers, I'm certain, but none of them broadcast their "faith in the Lord". All are successful realtors, and depend on the work I do to keep them successful. I have been there on a three-quarter time basis (8:00 to 3:00) for just under a week now, and I already feel like "one of the girls". From day one I felt accepted, needed, valued, and welcomed. They have been patient and kind with me while I am in the learning phase. They don't have unrealistic or demanding expectations. They treat me with consideration and respect, and as a result I am learning the job much quicker and easier. In less than a week I have shown excellent progress and I am gaining speed, accuracy, confidence, and skill by the day. I never feel nervous or jittery, never feel as if I'm going to have a panic attack, and no one has ever made me cry, (and if they did, my office supervisor, Denise, would rip them a new one). The days seem to fly by and I find, for the first time in a long time, that I really enjoy my job. I can thrive in such an atmosphere.


When love is forever

>> Saturday, August 12, 2006

One of the greatest things about the belief in reincarnation is the fact that when Steph and I tell one another that we love one another forever, it doesn't simply mean in the future. We know that we are already living it. Forever is past, present, and future. I have loved, I love, and I will love this soul forever. And to me, there is nothing more comforting nor secure than knowing that I'm always loved and that I will always love.

Today's Musical feature is Mozart's Andante & Variations in G major, for piano (four hands), K. 501


Taking some time to heal

>> Friday, August 11, 2006

I'm not one to give up on anything, nor am I one to say "die", but there comes a time when one realizes that it's time to throw in the towel. My new job did not work out, not because I didn't like the work, not because I wasn't learning and doing well, but because my boss was such an arrogant, impatient, abrasive and abusive jerk that I went to work every morning with knots in my stomach, and came home ill. I have been in such a state for the last two weeks that I have hardly been able to function. At first I thought it was me, and that I just needed to buck up and get with the program. He seemed great at first, but as time progressed I began to see a different side of him, and yesterday, when he flew into a thither over a minor mistake that one of the receptionists made, and then proceeded to rip the heads of every other staff member off and shit down our necks if we so much as looked in his direction, I knew that things in that place were not cool. I came home for lunch in tears and proceeded to announce to Steph that I could not take this any longer, and then I had myself a quiet little panic attack. My heart started pounding, I couldn't stop crying, I could hear the blood "whoosh" through my ears, I was nauseated, and I had a raging headache. Steph called Ville over at Express Personnel and told her that I was not going back in for the afternoon and explained why.

This morning, very early, I called in sick to Express Personnel. Today I plan to see the doctor to get a note telling them that I cannot continue at that job and why. It's not worth my health. Ville has already re-opened my files and is looking for a new job for me. In the meantime, we're doing well. We now have steady income coming in from Steph's web design work and at least for a couple of months we're going to be okay until Ville can find something else for me. And while she's looking, I'm going to take some time to help Steph with this current web project as well as do some healing things for myself, like finish this book about Mozart that I got for my birthday and learn to play my new guitar!


Mozartballs to be featured at the Okie Blogger Roundup

>> Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Okay, I admit it... I had to swallow hard when Steph announced to me only a few minutes ago that it was official that Mozartballs would be showing at the Okie Blogger Roundup on September 23rd. I'm a little nervous about this one!

I apologize for the lack of entries over the last couple of weeks. I have been stressed and exhausted during this period of training and getting settled into my new job. I like the job, but it is a bit stressful and demanding at times. I'm starting to settle in better now and I'm feeling a bit more confident. I've also been busy building my two new My Space sites. One is my own personal My Space site, and the other is one that I've created for Nancy Storace. They've been a fun, creative diversion for me.


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