An open letter to my children's abuser

>> Thursday, January 17, 2008

I’m not sure why you have decided that after four years of having no contact with my children that it was necessary or even appropriate for you to do so. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, I believe that you have a DHS order prohibiting you from any contact with them. But, since Lauren is no longer a minor, I guess you thought that she was once again, fair game.

Pathetic really, that a forty-some-year-old woman would find it necessary and/or amusing to continue to harass and abuse a 19-year-old girl who has done nothing but move on with her life, (after enduring four years of abuse from you), and put herself on the road to success and happiness. It speaks loudly to the kind of person you are and to the fact that after all the experiences of the past and all the abuse that my children endured at your hand, you’ve done nothing to rehabilitate yourself, nor have you learned a thing. It speaks even more loudly of Lauren, who through the strength of her character, has endured, persevered, moved-past, and conquered the abuse you so cruelly wielded in her direction for four years, and has grown into a beautiful, intelligent, courageous, compassionate, loving, and successful young woman. Lauren graduated with a 4.0 GPA, with top honors from her high school, last May, and is now a foreign exchange student with Rotary International in Brittany, France. After she returns home in June she will begin college at the University of Oklahoma where she will double major in French and Spanish with a goal towards a career in the field of International Relations and/or International Business. The fact that you find it necessary to seek her out and attack her on her weblog, when she has done nothing to you only brings to light how pathetic an individual you really are, as well as exposes your jealousy of her, and points directly back at you.

You know, I really never received the opportunity to tell you exactly what I think of you after you abused my children and verbally assassinated the characters of my partner and her son. The damage you did to my family was extensive and the wounds deep. Fortunately, in the nearly four years since my children have been back with me, much healing has taken place, and the damage you inflicted has been repaired, albeit the scars remain. Your manipulations, lies, emotional & physical abuse, fear tactics, and verbal attacks nearly did them in, and it is beyond me how they held up underneath it all. Again, it is a testimony to their character, and to the raising they had before they were exposed to you. I fully understand that what you did was done out of your own pain and abusive past, but it is beyond me how you could be so self-centered and turned-in not to realize that inflicting abuse on others because you were abused is not an acceptable way of dealing with your own pain. In fact, I know you know it’s not ok. But you did it anyway, and that, quite frankly is inexcusable. So no, I will not let you off the hook here by allowing you to plead innocent because you’re an abuse victim yourself. You’re an adult and have been for a long time now, and it’s time for you to grow up and deal with your past, be accountable for your own actions and quit abusing those around you. Get help, Kathy. You need it badly, and god knows your children need it.

I close this with a warning that if you continue to stalk and harass any of my three children on the web, I will not hesitate to inform DHS, for two of my children are still minors. And I will also remind you that internet stalking is a crime, and I will not hesitate to prosecute you accordingly.

Go now, and get the help you need.


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