>> Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Something has happened to me. Something deep inside of me has changed, and I can't explain it. Since my return from Austria I have continued to experience a sense of calm and release. Gone are the feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, anger, depression, and all of the accompanying behaviors. There is a new sense of calm that I can't explain. I suppose I could chalk it up to a number of things, not the least being the fact that my body is finally starting to balance out chemically, but it goes deeper than that.
Something happened to me in Vienna, something that permeated my entire being and unlocked the prison door for me. Earlier, I wrote that after the experience I had at the Karinthian Gate in Vienna, my weight started to drop dramatically. I wish I had pictures of me now–just a little over two weeks since we have returned and I'm still dropping weight. The changes are so dramatic that now even my children are noticing. (It's the ultimate compliment when your 13 year-old son exclaims, "Wow Mom! Look at you! You're hot!") What has happened on the inside is manifesting on the outside.